I have been retired now for approximately seven years and during this time I have come to understand a few fundamental issues regarding the retirement process, the most important of which is the process of “doing nothing.” I have come to understand over the past few years that “doing nothing,” is actually doing something!
A retired friend of mine asked me the other day what I was going to do that day and I replied, “nothing.” My friend responded, “But you did that yesterday” upon which I responded, “Yes, but I was not finished.” Funny, yes, but in many ways quite true.
Here is what I am doing when I am doing, “nothing”:
I am thinking about letting the muscles in my body relax.
I am busy listening to my body for any message it might be sending me.
I am spending more time sitting or walking outside, viewing the beauty of nature around my home and throughout surrounding parks.
I am listening to and viewing the world around me with more awareness.
I am busy thinking about the truly important issues of my life.
I am working on reducing the anxiety that has been a constant companion in my life.
I am increasingly thinking about all the love that I have in my life.
I am busy thinking how grateful I am for the life that I have lived as well as all the wonderful things that I have done in my life.
I am, in other words, busy doing “nothing.”
If all these things are doing nothing, then I believe we should all, retired and otherwise, do more of “nothing.”
Retirement is for most of us the fourth chapter in our lives, the first of which is the first 18 years living with our parents. They take care of us, nurture, feed, cloth, shelter, and help us reach a place where we are ready and prepared for the second chapter. The second chapter is the time we move away from our parent’s home and enter places of education and learn how to live on our own. For many, that is time in college and education beyond. This chapter in our lives is usually short but especially important as it prepares us for the third chapter which consists of the work, we do to make a living and the time we marry, have, and raise our children. This third chapter is usually the longest in our lives and is then followed by that fourth and last chapter of retirement.
I love my retirement years and realize that I have less days ahead of me than are behind me which makes me appreciate each day more than I had ever done earlier in my life. I have learned that sufficient sleep, appropriate exercise, and nutrition are no longer optional, they are foundational, and I need to pay considerable attention to them. I have also learned to reduce conflicts in my life by arguing less and removing myself from negative aspects of life. In addition, I have concentrated more on educating myself on a variety of issues. I want to become smarter and learn more and consider new ways to evaluate life, its history and meaning. I have also learned to be grateful for what I have and to cease trying to acquire more things. I am content with what I have gathered in my life and that brings a sense of peace. Finally, to round things off, I have learned and enjoyed the art of doing nothing.
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Mark, once I considered doing nothing a negative event in my life, but now it has become one of the more important things I do. I wonder how you feel about this.
Mark: Frank, what you have written here is moving, profound and absolutely beautiful. You describe this chapter of life as freedom from the obligation to do something, to produce something, to build something. What you describe is the freedom and the release from all the prior chapters of our lives to the tranquility of doing less, yet in so doing, in savoring life even more.
For those of us who are (or who are approaching) the autumn of our lives, we are done with tilling the fields, with the constant need to nurture and nourish them into producing a bountiful yield at the conclusion of the extended summer of our lives. We are now able to take the time to reflect on the bountiful harvest of our years. While it is true that some may have had greater success than others, to reach this stage of our lives is to reap the rewards of simply having made it to this point in time and to be grateful for what goodness life has given us. We have the time to survey the bounty of each of our lives, to sit back and review the fullness of those harvests.
This is not to say that it has all been easy, nor perfect, nor without loss, nor hurt nor regret. But we are nonetheless able to gain perspective on that which gave us undeserved joy and contentment, unexpected fulfillment and enrichment, and underappreciated meaning, purpose, and satisfaction. From this vantage point, we have the time to reflect on all that has transpired, and that stillness is not defined as doing nothing. Indeed, what could be more important for us to be doing at this moment in our lives? This kind of doing nothing is the most important something we can be doing. In fact, it is everything that matters about considering the worth of our days.
To everything there is a season…so wrote Ecclesiastes.
For everything, let us be grateful:
The good always, or often, outweighs the bad.
The heartwarming moments of life certainly can outnumber the heartaches and even heartbreaks.
The blessings surely overwhelm the shortcomings of broken hopes and dreams…if we take the time, to reflect and to notice.
As beautiful as the blooms of spring, even more uplifting than the warmth and light of summer, is the breathtaking spectacle of the colorful display of the leaves of autumn. They come to remind us of the rich rewards of the harvest of the years and of our lives.
Frank: Mark, much of what you have written about doing nothing involves becoming acutely aware of our surroundings. Doing nothing allows us the opportunity to sit back and view the beauty of nature around us, to reminisce on all we have done and accomplished in our lives, to bathe in the love of our family and friends, and to feel that our lives have had meaning and joy even amidst the turmoil and sadness that envelop all lives. Doing nothing is certainly doing something and for that we should be eager to participate in this sacred activity.
Rabbi Mark Schiftan can be reached at mschiftan@aol.com
Dr. Frank Boehm can be reached at frank.boehm@vumc.org.