Frank: Like all human emotions, empathy is on a spectrum and ranges from a complete absence to an overabundance of this feeling of caring and concern of others. Defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings and emotions of other humans, empathy plays a significant role in the evolutionary process of human development. Let me explain.
First our brain contains eighty-six billion nerve cells called neurons. It is within these cells that feelings such as empathy are generated and expressed. Second, each of these nerve cells contains a nucleus. Each of these house forty-six chromosomes that contain our DNA. The interesting aspect of all this is that our DNA differs enormously from one person to another and while some individual’s DNA allows for a prominent level of empathy, others contain DNA that lack some if not all the DNA required to elicit a feeling of empathy.
All this plays an enormous role in the development of humankind and society. The German philosopher, Hanno Sauer addresses this in his book, The Invention of Good and Evil: A World History of Mortality by writing that five million years ago, humans started to develop the psychological dispositions that made them capable of cooperation. Sauer writes, “Cooperating for mutual defense against our predators, and for collectively pursuing prey, was our way of compensation for our new vulnerability.” Among the dispositions that emerged to help us get along, was capacity for empathy and altruism: Individuals with considerable amounts of empathy and therefore leadership skills were more likely to possess the ability to have humans cooperate and thereby aid in survival.
The question I have for you, Mark, is what role, if any, does this feeling of empathy have in the evolutionary process of humankind?
Mark: Frank, I believe that empathy functions in a way similar to a muscle: It requires constant conditioning, strengthening and continuous use. Without such regular development and deployment, it will quickly atrophy and fall into disuse.
The question you ask operates on a very macro level. On the broad stage of human drama and human history, one can make the argument that each successive generation has made us gradually more empathetic to the needs, concerns, rights, and freedoms of others. This holds true, especially within Western democracies within the past two hundred and fifty years. Even then, one can argue, the development of empathy to the civil rights and liberties of others — minority groups in particular — has not come without struggle and often setbacks.
It seems to me that we should focus our best thoughts regarding empathy on a more specific, and more personal, micro level: Most of us need empathetic responses from our families, friends and communities, to help us feel heard, understood and less lonely or alone in our times of need. Sometimes, people respond in extraordinary ways. Their empathetic outreach and embrace give us the strength to carry on. On the other hand, sometimes people we expect to hear from grow silent and distant. We feel their absence and avoidance most acutely.
How do we respond with our own empathy when others need it most from us? Frank, putting aside the question of empathy and its impact on evolution of humankind, let us focus on the personal side of empathy. How did you respond, with empathy, as a physician, and as a family member and friend? When were you successful, and when did you fail in offering an empathetic response? Were you always as caring as you are at this stage of your life, or did you evolve over time, becoming better at offering an empathetic response? That is the evolution I would like for us to consider and reflect upon.
Frank: Mark, you made an excellent point. We should look at the feeling of empathy not on its importance as a tool for evolution of humankind but rather as a guide on how we personally evolve in terms of empathy. In that regard, I believe that as I have grown older, I have, indeed, become more empathetic. This is a result of the wisdom that has embraced my soul as I have aged. I have, through the experience of watching so much suffering in the world, come to a place where I am more able to feel the pain of other.
As a young man, I was more involved with how I was feeling and often ignored what was going on in the lives of others. Yet as I grew older and viewed what was happening to the world and especially my patients, my empathy grew. I am also certain that two failed marriages, the birth of three children with the added responsibility of raising them all led me to a place where I became more reflective of the trials and tribulations of everyday life. In that sense, my empathy for others grew exponentially. These experiences helped nurture me in a manner that augmented my genes to a higher level of empathy. Empathy can therefore grow in us as we experience and observe life.
The question I now have for you is this. Can we humans grow in our empathy as a feature of normal growth and experience, or does it take a special person or a unique set of circumstances to allow for the evolution of caring for others? Perhaps the answer lies in our religious and spiritual growth and development.
Mark: Frank, religion, done right, should continually remind and encourage us to become more humble, more grateful, more forgiving, more compassionate, and therefore, more empathetic human beings. Religious rituals and practice serve as our most constant reminders of these aspirational qualities and admirable pursuits.
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Empathy requires us to be less harsh, less immediate in our human tendency towards being judgmental towards others. An empathetic response requires us instead to bend towards mercy and lovingkindness in how we perceive the plight or condition of others.
Christian tradition defines this with the use of the word, “Grace.” It is a noble concept that mirrors those Jewish terms for mercy and lovingkindness. It also implores us to extend that sense of grace to others, which we believe God extends to each of us.
What can be more important than strengthening our empathy to better meet the needs of others for love, understanding and the tenderness of being cared for, listened to, and more fully understood?
Rabbi Mark Schiftan can be reached at mschiftan@aol.com Dr. Frank Boehm can be reached at frank.boehm@vumc.org
