The Jewish Observer
News from Middle Tennessee's Jewish Community | Thursday, May 30, 2024
The Jewish Observer

Kvetch in the City May 2024

Just when the world seems like it is approaching the end times and things could not possibly get any worse, the cicadas, like the plagues of Passover are on their way, making their once in a seventeen-year ascent. And this time to make the matter all that more nightmarish, not one breed, but two arrive simultaneously.  

If anyone has ever lived through this somewhat apocalyptic bug event, you will know what I mean by wishing that there was something akin to the iron dome on the ready to protect us all from this onslaught. 

I seriously am trying to make believe this is not going to happen. Of all the times I could have planned a vacation to leave the country, this should have been one of them.  

It is seared in my memory, the sight when they first silently came crawling out of the ground and up the sides of the house. I didn’t realize then how absolutely horrific it was about to get. However, all signs were telling it was not going to be good. 

I’ll never forget the horror of my first encounter with this reoccuring bug phenomenon. We were living in our first house, a house I basically hated from day one (however that’s a whole other story and a half) and my son was an infant at the time. I was still carrying him in those little fancified baby like grocery baskets you could lock into a stroller or car seat. I remember that distinctly because I had to run from my back door and outside into the car with him in one of those contraptions and click him and it into the car seat as fast as humanly possible, screaming the whole way from the onslaught of swirling clouds of roach like bugs flying through the air.  

It's amazing I did not get into a car accident the time one managed to get in the car while I was driving. Actually it was truly a miracle it was only one time.  

For weeks on end, it was like living driving through a zombie onslaught coming at me except with giant winged roach-like bug eyed insects flying into the windshield and God forbid, my hair and face at any given moment once I had to leave said vehicle. 

And just when I would make it safely back to the house without one crawling up my back, exhausted from the anxiety of having to be out in this hellish atmosphere all day, the operatic symphony of mating bugs at night was like a loudspeaker turned up to ten outside the bedroom window. 

And then…to sum it all up…once they are done, doing what they came to do (besides scaring the heck out of anyone who does not happen to be an entomologist), they die and cover the entire ground with their stinky carcasses.  

And while I know there is a helluvalot more to be bugged about for real in the world these days, I’m not gonna lie, this upcoming bugabalooza event does not bode well for this big sissy. 

Here’s to seeing you on the other side…  

 

 

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